I wrote this a few days after August’s arrival but hadn’t gotten the chance to edit it until now since J always has the laptop. Warning: I used Hypnobabies to prepare for childbirth, so there is a lot of “Hypnobabies lingo” throughout to remind myself how I used the techniques just in case there is ever another baby in the future.

The Day Before

On Wednesday, April 5th, Mama had a feeling you were coming soon. The night before, I had felt the need to tell Dada to brush up on his Hypnobabies birthing partner guide, which he (luckily!) finished reading that morning after “gently” reminding him again.  I felt a little off from the time I woke up that morning: crampy lower back, mild nausea, needing to use the bathroom more often, legs feeling a bit weak, and strong Braxton-Hicks waves that got stronger as the day went on. That morning, Scarlett and I attended story time at Barnes and Noble, and as we were saying goodbye to the storyteller, I said that next time we come we’ll probably have a new baby with us (another sign that I had a feeling things were happening). By the time Scarlett and I got home for lunch I was very hungry, even though I usually don’t eat lunch until the afternoon when Scarlett is napping. In fact, I was more hungry than usual throughout the day. I guess it was my body saying, “Fuel up, you’re going to need it.”

There were more signs of my impending birth as the day went on. It had been raining on and off throughout the day and a bunny had been hanging out on our hill in the backyard all afternoon. Although rabbits do tend to come out more often after it rains, J said it was a sign (Backstory: We had two litters of bunnies in our backyard last summer right before I got pregnant, and my mom said it was a sign of an upcoming baby, and she was right!). As I mentioned, my body was feeling more peculiar than normal, too. After putting Scarlett down for her nap, I attempted an easy cycling workout since a little exercise usually helps me feel better. However, I felt like I was pedaling through mud, and I lasted about 15 minutes at a very easy pace before calling it quits. I did feel a little better after getting my circulation going and listening to some uplifting tunes (most notably “Good Life” by OneRepublic, which I remember listening to on a run shortly after J and I got engaged—a very fitting song both then and nowJ) However, I was still feeling the lower back crampiness and mild nausea. J texted around 2:30pm to see what I wanted for dinner, and since I was still feeling a bit nauseous, the only thing I could think of was breakfast–one of my biggest pregnancy cravings for each pregnancy.

I definitely felt an urgency to get all the last minute things done “just in case”, so I spent the rest of Scarlett’s nap getting my hospital bag together and baking chocolate chip cookies to bring for the midwives/nurses (I had made the dough the day before). While Justin fed Scarlett dinner, I washed my hair and then did my Hypnobabies Fear Clearing session to help let go of any lingering anxieties about my impending birthing time. It was the first time that I was able to stay completely alert throughout the entire track and hear every word on a conscious level—and it was just what I needed. Afterwards I continued checking off my to-do list (most importantly: making sure my birthing guide tracks were functioning correctly on my Drive app since at first they weren’t working. Thank goodness I checked it–I wouldn’t have wanted to mess with that when I was in labor!) Before Scarlett went to bed, we played in her playroom while I sat on the birth ball. Scarlett came and sat in my lap on the ball and we listened and danced to Twist and Shout by The Beatles, her favorite song at the time. I’ll always remember those last moments with Scarlett as my only baby:) By the time we put Scarlett to bed and ate dinner, I figured that day wasn’t the day after all for baby. Justin told me not to go into my birthing time that night because he ate too much for dinner (haha), to which I replied that was his own fault since I had been having signs all day and it was a very real possibility! I finished my night as normal: showering while listening to my Pregnancy Affirmations, getting in bed and doing my daily hypnosis track (which happened to be Hypnotic Childbirth #1), and then turning off the lights around 11:30—a little earlier than usual, just in caseJ

Birthing Time Begins (lots of Hypnobabies lingo in this section)

At 1:24am, I woke feeling shaky and crampy. I felt like I needed to use the bathroom so I got up to do so, and as my whole body shook uncontrollably, I realized I was definitely in my birthing time. Before waking Justin, I went into the kitchen to call my mom and let her know it was time to come over. I went back into the bathroom and turned on the light, which still didn’t wake up J so I called out his name and he woke with a start. I told him I had called my mom and she was on her way over, to which he replied something along the lines of “Oh man“. When J had woken up a bit more and realized it was in fact go time, we were both surprisingly calm and went about getting everything together to leave as soon as my mom arrived. I lied down and turned my lightswitch to the off position during a wave, and then switched to center so I could get up and get ready to go. I listened to my Birthing Day Affirmations while I got dressed and braided my hair, pausing to lean on the sink and let my belly go limp and loose while using my “Peace” cue during each wave. The waves started to get a little stronger and closer together and lying on my side in bed and switching to the off position helped me to stay comfortable. I was still shaky, especially during some of the stronger waves, but I was still able to remain relaxed and comfortable. Justin called the midwife on call to let them know we would be there in about an hour. Of course they asked whether I had lost my mucus plug (nope—I didn’t notice a “bloody show” with either pregnancy) and how far apart my waves were (I had two in the short time Justin was on the phone—they were irregular but coming every 5 minutes or less).

Around 2:15am, my mom arrived and Justin and I set off for the hospital. The rainy day had continued into a rainy night, which made the drive more peaceful somehow—maybe because there were hardly any other cars on the road (certainly better than the rush hour traffic we experienced last time with Scarlett!). I turned on my Easy First Stage track, got as comfortable as possible with the help of some pillows, and was able to stay very relaxed and comfortable on the way to the hospital. I couldn’t believe it, but I was actually smiling between waves—I was just so happy that I was so comfortable this time around, and that I was that much closer to meeting our baby boy. With each wave, I said to myself “big, warm hug” and I visualized all my loved ones, living and those whom have passed, giving my belly a big, tight squeeze, helping me to bring my baby into the world.

We arrived at Mercy a little before 3:00am right as another wave was coming on. I stayed in the car until the wave passed while Justin got the stuff out of the car. When I opened my eyes and got out, I was so happy to see the midwife, Jenny, that I had seen for my last few appointments (who used Hypnobabies for her own daughter’s birth six months prior!) and one of the friendliest nurses, Marissa, that I had encountered during some of my prenatal visits. I was even more excited to find out that I was the only patient at the birthing center at that time, so I had my choice of the four birthing rooms. Each room is named/decorated for each of the four seasons. The nurse wheeled me into Winter (which had been my second choice—I thought I had wanted summer, but when I compared the two, I knew that winter was the right choice) and it was incredibly peaceful with the light blue colors, dim lighting, comfy bed, and the smell of lavender from an essential oil diffuser—it was like a dream. Was I really at the hospital? Something cool that I noticed later while in the tub was that the picture hanging in the room was of a beautiful forest in winter, which looked very similar to what my “special, safe place” that I had envisioned as part of my hypnosis practice would look like in the wintertime (I always imagined it being during spring).

Jenny the midwife asked if I wanted to be checked, and I agreed to it out of curiosity, knowing that it didn’t mean much (I was 3-4cm when I arrived for my first pregnancy, and my daughter was born 2 hours later). She said I was 4-5cm dilated, which was a good time to be at the hospital. After the nurse checked my vitals and the baby’s heartbeat, they both left us for a bit and Justin and I relaxed together on the bed, as I continued to “shut off” and use my Peace cue during waves—still very comfortably. I was also pretty diligent about taking sips of water between waves, and got up and moved around a few times to use the bathroom, etc. (making sure I did right after a wave so I wouldn’t be peeing while a wave came on).

Around 4:00am, I was lying on my side and had a particularly strong wave, where the pressure seemed to just keep building and building and building until pop!, my water broke. I looked on the bed and saw that it had a very light brown hue to it, and asked Marissa, the nurse, if it was meconium and whether that was bad. She said yes there was some meconium but she said there wasn’t enough of it to be concerning. After a few more waves I asked if it was ok to get into the tub (I guess I wasn’t sure if I could after my water had broken?) and of course the nurse said I could. The tub felt good and was very relaxing, however, sitting upright wasn’t my position of choice–I preferred to be on my side during waves, which obviously wasn’t possible in the tub. I was in there for maybe 20 minutes? before I felt my waves start to change (transformation), at which point I had to stay in center, as it was becoming more and more uncomfortable to be sitting upright, and the buoyancy the water provided made my body want to brace itself during waves, making it more difficult to go completely limp and loose and stay deeply relaxed. I said I needed to get out of the tub soon, but the waves were coming pretty frequently and it felt good to relax after each one—I knew that I would need to get up right after one ended so that I wasn’t in the middle of getting out/moving to the bed when another one came. At one point Marissa asked me if I could feel baby’s head if I reached in, and I remember feeling a bit taken aback: surely he wasn’t that close already? Would I really be able to feel him? Sure enough, I reached in and I felt his fuzzy little head! Such a surreal, wonderful experience. The nurse asked how far my finger was in before I felt his head, and I pointed to about my second knuckle—he was close! (At some point Elizabeth, the main midwife, had arrived in the room, and I was so happy to have her calming presence there). Soon after feeling his head, I got out of the tub as the nurse and Elizabeth dried me off. I needed to use the bathroom, but as soon as I got to the toilet I felt another strong wave coming on so I hurried to the bed to lie down on my side. The waves were stronger still, and it was becoming more difficult to keep my face and body relaxed. I started to feel the strong urge to push, and being on my side didn’t feel right, so I moved to hands and knees (my preferred position during my first birth) and I told Justin to put on my “Pushing Baby Out” track. The waves became even more powerful, and I started “ahhh-ing” through each one, which seemed to help focus my energy. After maybe one or two very powerful waves in this position, I felt the need to actively push. I used the power of each wave to help me push, again “ahh-ing” through each one, and then trying my best to relax and take deep breaths in between. After about two strong pushes, I felt baby’s head crowning—it was such a POWEERFUL sensation and I remember thinking to myself, this is what it felt like right before Scarlett was born. And also very similar to when Scarlett was being born, I thought “I need to get this baby out right now!” So again, using the power from the next two waves, I pushed my baby boy the rest of the way out: peacefully, joyfully, gently into the world and into the caring hands of my caregivers. And just like with Scarlett, I peeked down underneath me and saw his little feet and legs, and heard his beautiful, strong cry. Elizabeth asked me to flip over so she could place him on my chest—I couldn’t wait to see his face! As soon as I turned around I saw him, and oh, what a face it was. And, somehow, can you believe it, my heart was able to fall so deeply, instantly, completely in love all over again.

After

While I nursed (he was a natural after a few moments of figuring out the latch!) and snuggled with our brand new little love, the midwives waited patiently for his cord to stop pulsing (and it continued for a good half hour!—the nurse couldn’t believe it) and for me to deliver the placenta soon after that. Marissa gave us plenty of time with our baby before weighing, measuring, and taking his footprints: 7 lbs. 13 oz., 21 inches long. The Placenta Lady came around 7am to pick up my placenta to encapsulate it into pill form. I ate a bagel with cream cheese and drank some orange juice even though I wasn’t really that hungry but figured I should since I had just burned a few calories;) Then I took a shower and got dressed while J put August in his going home outfit and we left the hospital around 10am to go home and start our life as a family of four.

Justin and I were in awe of our experience—it was as though I had been having the most beautiful dream from about 1:24am-4:56am. But really, the beautiful dream didn’t actually begin until 4:56am when August came into the world, and it has been a beautiful dream ever since.